In Whose Best Interest? Abortion in the Case of Incest
Reprinted by permission from Life Ministries, (08) 9344 7396 (Western Australia)
This (abridged) article was prepared by the Coalition for the Defence of Human Life for publication in the Incest Survivors Association Journal (Summer 1998).
It is frequently presumed that abortion in the case of pregnancy resulting from incest is in the best interest of the pregnant girl or woman. However, there is no psychiatric evidence (or even a theory) to support the argument that abortion is therapeutic for the pregnant victim of incest.
Abortion in these circumstances rather serves to cover up the crime of the perpetrator.
Doris’ Story
Doris Kalasky’s story illustrates the lengths one incestuous father was prepared to go to cover up his actions.
I am a victim of incest; one of the "hard cases" for abortion. I was raped by my father when I was fifteen years old It was not the first time, nor would it be the last. However this time, I became pregnant.
One night, I became very sick and my parents took me to the hospital. (I believe now that they knew I was pregnant since they took me to a different hospital than normal.)
The emergency room doctor discovered that, along with a very bad case of the flu, I was 19 weeks pregnant.
My father flew into a rage, accusing me of all sorts of things, and demanding I have an abortion. The doctor informed me that 1 was pregnant and asked me what 1 wanted In spite of the pain and guilt 1 felt, knowing who the father of the baby was, it was far better to have a baby than the alternative - to kill it. I refused to have an abortion.
My father flew into an uncontrollable rage and demanded that I consent to the abortion, or that the doctor do it with or without my permission. The doctor refused because of my wishes. My father demanded that an abortionist be found - regardless of the cost.
Within one hour, this man arrived at the hospital, talked with my parents and decided to do the abortion, without speaking to me. I refused and tried to get off the examining table. He then asked three nurses to hold me while he strapped me to the bed and injected me with a muscle relaxant to keep me from struggling while he prepared to kill my baby.
I continued to scream that I didn‘t want an abortion. He told me, "Shut up and quit that yelling!" Eventually I was placed under general anesthesia and my child was brutally killed.
The trauma of the rape and abuse were only intensified by the abortion.
I was told that an abortion would solve my problem, when it was never really the problem in the first place. I was told, "Your parents know what ‘s best," when they obviously were only concerned about their own reputations. I was told, "You made the right decision," when I was never given a choice. More importantly where was my baby ‘s choice?
I grieve every day for my daughter 1 have struggled to forget the abuse and the abortion. I can do neither All I think of is, "I should have done more, fought more, struggled more for the life of my child."
My situation may not be common, but I know it ‘s not unique either The emotions and problems I’ve had to deal with as a result of my abortion are common. The trauma of the rape and abuse were only intensified by the abortion.
The guilt of knowing my baby is dead is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I was violated and betrayed over and over by my father, who God created to love and protect me. I was humiliated, hurt, and yes, violated again by the abortionist.
Why do even pro-lifers talk about making exceptions for abortion in cases of rape and incest as if that is a way to have "compassion" for the mother? Why is this the only "loving" response to the situation? I have talked with pro-lifers who consider my abortion acceptable, under the circumstances.
I want to tell people, "If you really want to be compassionate, give this mother the opportunity to choose life for her child If you really love the mothers who have been victimized, don ‘t let them be exploited again by someone who will make a profit from their dead child - a memory that will haunt them for the rest of their lives."
The mom needs love, support and understanding, not the pain of allowing herself to be violated again in order to kill her child Regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the pain involved, that helpless, innocent child has no voice, no defense, and no chance, unless we offer real love and real compassion to the mother
My abortion was over five years ago. God is still healing me, but it has been a difficult fight I conclude with this thought "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds."
Incest victims rarely voluntarily agree to an abortion. The reasons are not hard to discover.
Firstly, the pregnancy can be seen as perhaps the only way to break out of the trap of abuse and silent cover - up that characterizes the incestuous relationship.
The birth of a child will expose the sexual activity, whereas abortion perpetuates the "conspiracy of silence" by covering up the incest, or at least its results, and continues the pathological family pattern of denying reality.
Secondly, the pregnant incest victim can see the child that she is carrying as offering her the opportunity to establish a genuine, loving relationship - in contrast to the exploitative relationship in which she has been trapped.
Many abortion providers and family planning counselors fail to identify incest victims because they are so intent on "solving" the problem of pregnancy with the quick fix of abortion.
Mary Jean’s Story
Mary Jean Doe recounts her experience with a planned parenthood clinic in the United States.
I am a victim of child sexual abuse - both incest and the family friend variety.
Just before I was 13 years old, I was sexually abused by an older brother, and by a college-age friend of the family I was never assaulted by the two together but each knew of the other‘s involvement - the older brother gave me "ups" for sexual acts on the family friend
About 3 or 4 months after Me abuse began, I was late for a period I told my brother this, and he informed me that I ‘should have made that guy wear a rubber you idiot". I did not know what a "rubber" was, or where it was worn, or why All I knew was that if you did not have periods, you were pregnant, you were in trouble.
I turned to my Sunday School teacher for help. When I told her I thought I might be pregnant (at 12 years old) she didn‘t even blink.
She gave me a big hug and said I should go to Planned Parenthood for a ‘rabbit test that I should get one of my older brothers to take me and not tell my parents. She never asked who the male partner was, or why I was sexually active at my age.
So my older brother took me to Planned Parenthood
I had never been to a doctor without my mother and I had never had a gynecological exam. The whole visit was terrifying. No one explained anything. I was examined, gave urine and blood samples, and shown a chart of an egg going around a big circle marked by days of the month. I was asked questions like ‘frequency of intercourse?’ and method of birth control preferred?" I did not know what intercourse meant so I just said "a lot and I had no idea what birth control methods existed.
No one asked who my "partner" was, no one expressed any dismay concern, or even interest that a 12-year-old girl needed a pregnancy test.
I heard a lot about "being responsible" and "taking control of my body"
Someone gave me a handful of condoms on the way out, and made a joke about it being an assortment - red, blue, and yellow The yellow ones were called Tinglers. I stuffed them in my purse, and threw them away later
My older brother maintained a strong silence throughout the entire time - no one asked him a single question.
Two days later I received a phone call telling me the test was positive, and to come in the following Saturday morning with a sanitary napkin and a friend who could drive. The caller never used the word "pregnant" or "abortion". I did not keep that appointment; my period started that evening.
The sexual abuse ended a couple of months later as the family friend moved away and my older brother began to abuse two younger neighborhood children instead.
It was not until 3 years later that I discovered, in a high school biology class, that you cannot get pregnant from oral sexual contact I also found out what intercourse was, and that I 'd never had it.
I remember the feeling of horror that came over me as I realized I had been scheduled for an abortion. I remember trying to figure out who would have paid the bill (it must have been my brother), and wondering why I was such a horrible person that those people thought I should have an abortion.
Obviously the worst thing that could ever happen w anyone must have happened w me, so what kind of person did that make me? Bad enough to have to kill a baby, according to what I ‘d just learned in my biology class. I thank God that my period started when it did.
Over the years, I have found that my story is very common, and that my experience with Planned Parenthood was not an aberration. The sexual altitude often championed by Planned Parenthood is a serious factor in preventing the discovery of sexual abuse of young people.
Had anyone shown even the least bit of disapproval or concern, I would have divulged the truth and begged for help.
Everyone around me seemed to accept as normal that a 12 year old girl could and should be sexually active (so long as she is responsible - remember the "rubber rainbow"!)
And remember too, who took me to Planned Parenthood - an older brother with an urgent interest in my being aborted!
Abortion on demand, no questions asked, makes it easier for incest and child abuse to continue. Abortion for incest victims sounds compassionate, but in practice H is simply another violent and deceptive tool in the hand of the abuser.
Abortion clinics and doctors who refer minors for abortion without interviewing them for signs of sexual assault or incest are contributing to the young girls’ victimization. They are robbing the victim of her child while concealing a crime. They are protecting a perpetrator and handing the victim back to her abuser.
For those victims of incest who also become victims of abortion, the long-term effect can be devastating.
Edith’s Story
Twenty-five years after her abortion at the age of 12, Edith Young, a victim of incest impregnated by her stepfather writes:
Throughout the years I have been depressed, suicidal, furious, outraged lonely and have felt a sense of loss. The abortion which was to be ‘in my best interest "just has not been.
As far as I can tell I only saved their reputations, solved their problems and allowed their lives to go merrily on. My daughter, how I miss her so. I miss her regardless of the reason for her conception."
Lee and Julie’s story
These sad stories contrast with the positive story of Lee Ezell and her daughter Julie Makimaa. In 1962, Lee Ezell was raped as a virgin teenager in inner city Philadelphia by a passing salesman. Lee was the child of alcoholic parents and had been told that she was an "unwanted child". Abortion was not readily available and Lee delivered a baby girl at full term and gave her up for adoption.
Speaking of her daughter, Lee states, "She became what I referred to as ‘the missing piece’ of my life, as I never held her or saw her; she was adopted at birth. How could I have known she’d be the only child I would give birth to?"
Some years later Lee received a telephone call and a voice announced, "Hello, you’ve never met me, but I am your daughter. I’ve been searching for you to let you know you are a grandmother."
Lee was able to meet with her daughter Julie Makimaa and her husband. He thanked Lee tearfully: "Thanks for not aborting Julie I don’t know what my life would be like without her and our children."
Lee comments, "Abortion is too permanent an answer for a temporary problem. Abortion is not an answer. It is an additional problem to be reckoned with later."
Julie is naturally sympathetic to the suffering her mother endured at the hands of that rapist. However, she is also rightfully proud of her mother’s courage and generosity. Julie proclaims, "It doesn’t matter how I began. What matters is who I will become."
This is a slogan that we would all do well to live by.
Sources for this article include: David Reardon, Aborted Women Silent No More, Loyola,1987: Elliot Institute (P0 Box 9079, Springfield IL 62791 USA). Post Abortion Review - various issues: Los Angeles Times (February 26. 1992); The Rescuer (Jan 1996), Philadelphia.